We recently completed a series of seminars for a client on “The Power of Feedback.” While I’ve taught a variety of communications courses and have an abiding passion for the subject, preparing for this engagement re-ignited my excitement about the value of feedback, and the profound effect it has on individual growth and organizational productivity.

Numerous studies have shown that exceptional companies have higher levels of feedback and debate than mediocre companies (one of my favorite discussions takes place in Jim Collins’ book Good to Great). Unfortunately, the stark reality is that most people aren’t very good at giving or receiving feedback. This applies both to positive feedback (praise, thanks, recognition) as well as negative or critical feedback (confronting poor performance). Many people could count on one hand the number of meaningful conversations they’ve had with their manager about their performance and personal development.

Why does feedback get short shrift? The first answer is that people think they are too busy to spend time on it. The second answer is that feedback territory is fraught with emotional snares and pitfalls. Whether in a formal performance review or an informal conversation in the hallway, you have to possess a rare balance of candor and sensitivity to tackle difficult issues with a subordinate or co-worker. When receiving feedback, you have to endure judgmental conversations that may feel like a personal attack.

But feedback conversations are essential. They force you to face reality, confront the problems that are causing your team to underperform, and rise out of the swampland to a higher level of productivity – and a more enjoyable work environment. With learning and practice, you can turn your feedback conversations into productive dialogue that promotes strong relationships and great results, rather than destructive discussions that lead to mediocrity and frustration. (And don’t tell me you’re too busy to give and receive feedback – as former Intel CEO Andy Grove says, it’s one of the highest leverage activities you can perform.)

Been avoiding your feedback obligations? Use the following “best practices for giving and receiving feedback” to reinvigorate your relationships and productivity:

Giving Feedback

• Ask permission to give feedback. If appropriate, set a favorable time and location. Allow no distractions or interruptions.
• Set a tone of energy and optimism. Consciously assume an attitude that embraces both candor and sensitivity. If it’s going to be a difficult conversation, plan for it by gathering all necessary information and rehearsing what you want to communicate. Cultivate a positive emotional state by straightening up your posture, breathing deeply, and speaking in a natural tone of voice.
• When sharing feedback, focus on specific situations and behavior, rather than delving into psychoanalysis. Talk to your direct report or co-worker (or boss!) how their decisions affect other people, and how their actions affect business results.
• Show appreciation and say thank you. Yes, your colleagues and employees are adults who get paid to do their job. But to believe that expressing praise isn’t important is to vastly underestimate the human craving for appreciation.
• Confront non-performance. Take a hard look at reality together, and make it clear that change is necessary. Get them talking about how they intend to improve. Agree on outcomes and timelines. Set different consequences for different levels of performance.
• Remember it’s a dialogue, not a monologue. Ask questions and listen attentively to answers. Offer suggestions and support. Jointly consider options. Pay attention to the unique talents of those you’re giving feedback to, and if possible, frame solutions that leverage their strengths.
• Encourage and energize. Some feedback discussions won’t turn out to be fun encounters. But if managed skillfully, the majority of feedback conversations can leave people feeling fired up…rather than beaten up.

Receiving Feedback

• Ask for feedback. Top performers are hungry for feedback – even critical feedback – because getting feedback on your work performance is essential for your learning and growth. Make a habit of asking: “how’m I doing?” Help build a feedback-rich environment within your team and department.
• Recognize personal feedback preferences. Each person has a different style of giving and receiving feedback. Pay attention to the person offering feedback, and frame your response in the most effective way possible.
• Set your attitude and emotions. Many feedback conversations can be difficult – especially when you’re receiving feedback that is critical of your performance. Consciously adopt an attitude of openness and composure. Drop the anger and defensiveness. View feedback as a gift. Make it your motto: I Love Feedback.
• Practice effective listening. When receiving feedback, give your full attention to the person you’re conversing with. Listen wholeheartedly, ask questions, clarify ambiguous matters, make sure you understand their points. Don’t interrupt the person speaking, or shut down because you don’t like what you’re hearing.
• Handle feedback effectively when you disagree. Decide if you want to think about the feedback you receive, or if you want to discuss it right away. Don’t shy away from tough conversations. Focus on facts and specifics, discuss potential options and resolutions. If the disagreement is serious enough, seriously consider alternative roles or positions.

Want to Reprint this article?

If you would like to reprint this article for your company’s website or newsletter, please feel free to do so. All that we ask for is attribution. If you use any material by Peter McLaughlin, simply include this following attribution:

"Peter McLaughlin is the author of CatchFire and a renowned speaker on performance topics. This article is copyright Peter McLaughlin, all rights reserved. For free articles, visit www.petermclaughlin.com".